What is hookup culture? Have you even heard of it before, or is it one of those things we don’t like to talk about? I don’t profess any real insights into the culture or the reasons for it, but decided to pose some questions and see where the rabbit hole might take me.
I am by no means a traditionalist when it comes to relationship ideologies, and have participated in hookup culture in my earlier years – not as emotionless as I would have liked, and usually found myself in FWB situations rather than single night casual flings – separating feelings and intimacy has never been something I have been good at.
What is the enjoyment that people seem to get from being active in hookup culture? Perhaps they enjoy the chemical rush of endorphins or dopamine that come from sexual arousal, perhaps they find it liberating, or is it something else?
Casual sex has been on the rise since the 1920’s and more predominant after the 1930’s and rise of the white feminist movements of the 1960’s, which saw a shift towards sexual freedom and access to birth control becoming more accessible.
While hookup culture stems predominantly from American College life, access to online dating and hookup apps, makes the ability to “hookup” that much easier. Despite this, studies of college students are finding that despite clear culture of acceptable casual sex amongst college students, the majority would prefer to be in a committed relationship (citation).
Scarily enough these studies find that college students feel that their only option is casual sex because their peers aren’t interested in a committed relationship – does this then become a self-filling prophecy?
Whether or not those college studies also translate into non -college social situations is another question. But how many of us in the dating scene feel that everyone just wants a “hookup”? Do the majority of adults in the dating scene only want to hookup or is it something else? Perhaps, the online dating world has taken away something that was required prior to being able to swipe away matches – genuine communication.
While casual sex is always apart of dating and our society, is it truly what the majority of people in the scene want? And if we don’t truly want this, then why do so many of us participate in it? This is where it becomes more interesting when I think about it and my personal experiences.
Do many individuals participate in “hookup” culture out of fear? How many participate in casual sex out of fear for their person, their life? Is it safer to say yes then to say no? So, while the start of sexual freedom and liberation was to allow individuals the choices to have sex freely, without needing to be in a relationship, has this now created a situation of entitlement within certain faculties of our society?
If it’s not fear, then peer pressure? And if not peer pressure are we just not communicating and actively listening to each other? Are we saying we don’t want casual sex and are not being heard, are we saying we want casual sex and instead of respecting that other people don’t want that, pressuring them towards it anyway?
I guess regardless of whatever you are looking for in our society or whether you participate or not in hookup culutre, communication is going to continue to be the most important thing. Maybe we can all start swiping right a little less, and talking a little more
